Introduction to Chemistry B.

For anyone who has ever studied Chemistry, you should be familiar with the notion that it is not something that cannot be learnt overnight – you should be revising your work every week. I distinctively remember Foti cautioning us during our very first lesson in year 11. But surely I thought; all subjects insist upon this so why is Chemistry any different?

Years later, I figure that he might be onto something. My lecturer told us that organic chemistry is a lot like this number 1417212428313538: ‘At first glance, it is perplexing but upon closer evaluation, there is in fact a pattern behind the numbers’. By week 3, I was totally and utterly lost – even the pictures didn’t help that I began to skip my lectures!

With that in mind, nothing tops the practicals that we have on a fortnightly basis. I hate that they’re always 2 chapters ahead of what we’ve learning in the lectures and so I have trouble doing the pre-LAB. I don’t know why but my poor demonstrator always gives me an oh-Jane-what-the-hell-am-I-going-to-do-with-you look. Maybe it’s because I ask him the stupidest questions because the answer is always right under my nose or that I constantly stuff up my experiments in which he just laughs at me.

He usually walks around the lab and one time I saw him approaching and when I looked over my shoulder again he was gone. I was quite relieved because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. And then I realised that he was standing right beside me.
HIM: How you going?
ME: I’m not getting any gases.
HIM (lifts up the test tube and gives it a swirl): What the hell are you talking about? There’s a shitload of gases there!
ME: Oh.
Yes, he says shit a lot but for some reason I don’t seem to mind.

I also have the worst luck with my equipment especially those made of glass. Last semester, I single-handedly managed to break a burette, 3 test tubes, a separating funnel and a round bottom flask – I must mention that we only had 7 practicals. Luckily, you don’t have to pay for the damages because then I’d be so broke right now. I can’t even say that I haven’t broken anything this semester because that would be lying.

Practicals are strictly monitored by this scary, middle-aged man. And oh my god, I don’t think I’ve ever meet anyone I’ve been completely petrified of. Killeen is a cute teddy bear compared to this man. For those that don’t know who he is, I’ll try to describe him. He’s in charge of safety within the lab and if you do anything unsafe, WATCH OUT! because he’ll come down on you like no tomorrow. I’ve actually been told off by him a total of 3 times:
1. Doing a titration – he came up to me and said that the colour was too dark.
2. About to put hazardous liquids down the sink
3. Putting my test tubes on the rack

On the third occasion, a guy pointed out that I had gone red afterwards. The man asked me if it was because I thought he was telling me off (he in fact wasn’t). I was caught off guard and I stumbled on my words but somehow managed a small yes.

What’s more is that we also have weekly quizzes and don’t me started on those.

Oh how I loathe organic chemistry!